At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
