i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
this must be what syphilis tastes like
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
