mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All the doctor said was why
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
