Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
