Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
