I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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