I bet he comes in French.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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