thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My dick has a subreddit
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
