saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I will pee on everything he values.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
