Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
