Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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