i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
why do cheetos always look like penises
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
