i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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