Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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