her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
