Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
