at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
