she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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