Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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