oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need moral support for this bender
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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