Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
