The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
