If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
