you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my sisters under your porch take her home
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
