Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i need some magic done to my vagina
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
