We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
