Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
