Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
