Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
