Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
