oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
