kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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