No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize