I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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