i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
