I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
