you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
