Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She's the barista slut.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
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