Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
