Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
