there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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