seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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