If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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