Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
