He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
