DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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