why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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