I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
