Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
