i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
