I am in a vortex of obligation.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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