Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
